Besoin d'une correction

Besoin d'une correction - Aide aux devoirs - Emploi & Etudes

Marsh Posté le 28-12-2005 à 18:23:27    

Bonjour !
Voilà, je dois rendre un devoir d'anglais pour la rentrée, et j'aimerais si possible que vous relisiez ce que j'ai fait, et que vous me corrigiez.  
Merci à tous ceux qui répondront  
 
Voilà le texte :
"These days, the music has taken an important place in the teenager’s life. Young people listen music at home, in bus, at school… But music hasn’t same meaning for two different persons.
When someone says “music”, each think at a particular type of music (jazz, rock, techno…). Yet, the word “music” gathers all types. I think many people aren’t enough open-minded, and don’t try to know other types of music. It’s a pity. Each music has its characteristics. Each music has something than others don’t have. To refuse to listen to other types of music, it’s to prevent oneself discovering and liking new things. A music can be to like, whereas it wasn’t it at the beginning. I heard a story: a man only listened jazz, and a woman only rock.  The man didn’t like rock and the woman didn’t like jazz. They were married and now, the woman love jazz and the man love rock. That proves that more you listening a musical style, more you like it.
For much, music is just “to listen”, whereas music is also “to sing”, “to dance”, “to play”… The majority of people listen music just to occupy and relax oneself. But music is a profound thing. It’s something we have in us, which makes us to dream, to dance… Everybody can move on music, everybody can mark the rhythm with the foot. I think music is marvellous, because we needn’t nothing to create it. Our two hands are enough to create a rhythm, our voice is enough to create a melody. It exists since the night of times and I think it’ll be able to never disappear.
Music is always present. It mark the time of fetes. Perhaps music has a different meaning for each person, but if one thing is sure, it’s it can to bring together opposing people and to create strong links."

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Marsh Posté le 28-12-2005 à 18:23:27   

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Marsh Posté le 30-12-2005 à 20:55:09    

Alors, je ne corrige pas tout, seulement ce qui me saute aux yeux :
 
These days => Nowadays (de nos jours)
 
each thinks  
 
tu peux altérner entre kind et type
 
Each music has something (that) the others don't have
 
"To refuse to listen to other types of music, it’s to prevent oneself discovering and liking new things. A music can be to like, whereas it wasn’t it at the beginning." => je comprend rien
 
the woman loves
 
the man loves
 
more you listen to a musical style
 
The majority listens
 
it’ll be able to never disappear => mal dit, it will never disappear
 
it marks  
 
fetes, ça existe ?
 
it’s it can to bring together opposing people and to create strong links." => je comprend pas non plus, mal dit

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Marsh Posté le 30-12-2005 à 22:29:46    

Merci d'avoir répondu.
 
"To refuse to listen to other types of music, it’s to prevent oneself discovering and liking new things."  => "Refuser d'écouter d'autres styles de musique, c'est s'empêcher de décrouvrir et d'aimer de nouvelles choses."
 
"it’s it can to bring together opposing people and to create strong links." => "c'est qu'elle peut réunir/rassembler des personnes opposés et créer de forts liens."
 
Et fete, je crois pas que ça existe, j'ai du oublier de le traduire en anglais :D

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Marsh Posté le 30-12-2005 à 23:02:56    

Alors dans ce cas, c'est "Refusing to listen to...." et vérifie s'il faut une préposition derrière le verbe tu prevent (genre from something)
 
pour la deuxième phrase, pk ne pas simplement dire "It can bring opposing people together an create strong links" ? ;)

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